we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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