YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
