I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
