A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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