Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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