I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
