this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
