I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
where does the pee come out of this thing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
