smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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