Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is it fun? or sober?
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