I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize