All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
