Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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