Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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