i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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