Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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