omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
