Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I want a musical about memes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
