remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
