youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
