google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
