So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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