Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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