I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
