Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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