i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
