yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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