youre lurking in front of me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
