I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
