I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
