we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
