doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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