Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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