You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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