North Korea, Best Korea!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
