Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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