I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
