The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
