therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
