so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
