So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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