He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
