I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
