"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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