Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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