Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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