Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
