Pappa wants mamma naked
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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