I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i think im in europe. pls send help
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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