i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
