something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
