Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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