im drinking this country out of the recession.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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