but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
