so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
