I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
