she looked like the before picture.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
