It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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