Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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