After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
