Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
