no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
